Question 1:

What is the appropriate age for men and women to marry? Some of the young ladies of today do not accept to be married to men older than them and also some of the men do not get married from anyone older than them either. We hope for a response, may Allaah reward you.

Response 1:

I advise the young ladies not to refuse a man because of his older age. Even if he be ten, twenty or thirty years older, this is not a valid excuse.

The Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) married ‘Aa.ishah when he was fifty-three years old and she was nine years old. Older age is not harmful. There is no problem if the woman is older than the man and there is no problem if the man is older than the woman.

The Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) married Khadijah when she was forty years old and he was twenty-five years old, before he received his first revelation. That is, she was fifteen years older than him (may Allaah be pleased with her). And ‘Aa.ishah was married when she was a young lady of six or seven years and the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) consummated the marriage when she was nine years old and he was fifty-three years old.

Many of those who talk on the radio or television and speak against having disparaging ages between husband and wife are wrong. It is not permissible for them to say such things. Instead, what must be done, is the woman must look at the prospective husband and, if he be pious and appropriate, she must agree to him even if he is older than her. Similarly, the man must try to marry a woman who is pious and virtuous, even if she is older than him, especially if she is still less than mid life. In any case, age should not be taken as an excuse. It should also not be considered a shortcoming, as long as the man is pious or the woman is pious.

May Allaah make the affairs good for everyone.

Question 2:

What are the most important considerations a young lady should make when choosing a husband? If she refuses someone simply for economic or worldly reasons, will that expose her to the punishment of Allaah?

Answer 2 :

The most important attributes that a woman must look for in selecting a husband are character and piety. Wealth and lineage are secondary considerations. The most important aspect is that the proposed groom be a person of piety and proper behavior. The person of proper behaviour and piety will not do his wife wrong. Either he will keep her in a way that is proper or he will leave her to go free in the best way.

Furthermore, the person of religion and behavior may be a blessing for her and her children. She may learn manners and religion from him. If he does not have those characteristics, she should stay away from him, especially if he is one of those who is lax with respect to performing the prayers or if he is known to drink alcohol, may Allaah save us. As for those who never pray, they are disbelievers. Believing women are not permissible for them nor are they permissible for the believing women. The important point is that the woman should stress character and piety. If he is also of a noble lineage, that is to be preferred. This is due to the Messenger of Allaah’s (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) statement:

«If a person whose religion and character you approve of comes to you, then marry him».

However, if he is also suitable [in other ways, such as economics standing and so forth], that is better.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen
Fataawa al-Mar.ah

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About musafirjalanan16

I'm proud to be i discover this world is through the way of Islam... I changeable person depend on the situation... cz 4 my self i need to adapt wth the unexpected situation... So, let us know each other 4 a great Ukhwah Fillah.... Sebagai seorang muslim, peranan dakwah itu tertanggung atas bahu tiap2 dari mereka... Sesungguhnya, peliharalah peribadi dan keterampilan kita sebagai seorang muslim yang sejati... Bukanlah sekadar Islam atas dasar nama semata-mata, yang pada hakikatnya kita tidak mengenal apakah ISLAM yang sebenar... Renunglah sejenak ke lubuk hati yang paling dalam....adakah kita benar2 SAYANG DAN CINTA dengan sebenar-benarnya akan ISLAM. BANGKITLAH WAHAI SAUDARA!!!!! Sesungguhnya pengembaraan kita masih terlalu jauh, jangan kita berputus asa, sedangkan Allah tidak pernah berputus asa dengan kita...

Posted on March 15, 2012, in Minda Terbuka and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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